Reclaiming the Holidays: From Estrangement to Discovery
Theo Ward and Imma Royal and reclaiming the holidays and they want to help you do the same.
by Imma Royal
Not everyone experiences the holidays as sugarplums and roasting chestnuts in front of the fireplace. We dread the endless decorating and cheer from October through the New Year. Bah Humbug!
Even the most securely attached folks with healthy family dynamics experience stress around the holidays. Family drama gets exposed as we revert back to the same roles our parents projected on us, no matter how accomplished we become in adulthood.
Approximately 60% of the population come from securely attached families, intact where family gives a sense of identity, security and joy. This is not the case for the 40% of us where there is misunderstanding, betrayal and trauma. A sense of self and safety must be met outside the family structure. Healing must be undertaken to break the chain of generational trauma. Many of us in this category experience the holidays with dread. This was case for me. I avoided everything about the holidays, refusing to participate.
When I met my kindred spirit, we had much in common around our attitudes about Christmas in particular. We both came from estranged families burnt out around the commercialism. This gave us both freedom to unplug. I found my spiritual path and used this time for sabbatical. Avoiding all the unpleasantries associated with family. This became a particular point where hiding in the upper chakras became a spiritual bypass. The old traumas still lay dormant.
Now that we have opened our business Nana I Ke Kumu to the community, following our mission of building communication and community, we had to face our core family issues that cut us off from family and ultimately humanity. I had to digest my deepest pain around severed attachment and abandonment. I had to integrate a world where my sense of family has shifted to healthy attachment with self, which opened the doors for new types of family with loved ones and friends.
These are strange times indeed and many more of us are experiencing despair, especially around times that previously were of celebration. Our world will never be the same after COVID. Families have been shaken to the core, and we need one another to draw from our strengths rather than our differences. We need our communities now more than ever. How can we get to that place of interdependence?
Traditionally, as the days grow shorter and the air is colder, we created ritual that brought us together indoors, creating the warmth that we desire. A time of giving and receiving.
How do we stay centered during the hustle and bustle as Christmas draws near without being swept up in the mania?
You cannot give anymore than you have if your reserves are low. Self care, self love are not selfish acts. Your cup must be full in order to care for others. This can be an especially difficult concept if you are a caregiver. My advice, take self care seriously, like your life depends on it. What ever it is that gives you that inner calm, begin or maintain a practice that fills your vessel.
Something shifted for me this year in my journey of the self. Through pain, I brought in the self love that I was looking for on the outside. As I approach the Holidays this year, I find myself looking forward to celebration and joy, looking through my eyes with freedom, with the inquisitiveness of a child.
If you would like to know more about the work we do at Nana I Ke Kumu: Life Coaching, Astrology, Meditation, Yoga and Tarot, contact me at www.indigotravellers.net, (541) 980-7286, 413 E 2nd ST, The Dalles, OR 97058.
