How does your Spirituality impact others? A Sufi Perspective
Introduction by Cole Goodwin
Welcome to the The Spiritual Roundtable, an interfaith roundtable featuring a diverse range of spiritual belief systems in the Gorge Community.
Each week, spiritual leaders and learners will share their take on some of humanity's biggest questions, starting with: What does your spirituality mean to you? And ramping up into discussions about the nature of existence, the soul, the divine, and of course…a question as old as time itself: why are we here?
Roundtable writings will be published each Saturday and Sunday morning of the month.
Now take a deep breath… Meditate for a moment…And when you’re ready…keep reading to explore one of the many diverse faiths, belief systems, and philosophies that exist in our communities.
This Month's Question: How does your spirituality impact those around you? How does your spirituality encourage healthy relationships with other people, animals, and the earth? What is love? How can we be more loving?
Why this question was chosen: This question asks us to examine the basic principles and values that guide our Spirituality and expand our understanding of the many paths one can walk to live a Spiritual life.
About Bobbie Harlow Combe
This past March, I moved with my husband from Tygh Valley, OR to take up residence in Prineville, OR. Most of my 72 years I’ve been on a spiritual journey beginning as a child, attending churches throughout my youth and adult life, that eventually led to the Shadhiliyya Sufi path in 2001. What is Sufism? Sufism is a spiritual teaching that leads to Oneness or Unity with God’s Presence. The meaning of the word Sufism is “to purify one’s heart”.
A Sufi Perspective
by Bobbie Harlow Combe
Bismi’llah ir-rahman ir-rahim
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate
SUFISM, A JOURNEY OF LOVE
Guide Sidi wrote—
“Stand inside the doorway of love all the time. Do not go left and right, or to any side. Know that you are not lost if you remember the name of God all the time, inside or outside.”
“The heart must be very clean for Allah’s love. You cannot reach the secret of the love if you do not change every quality to be like the qualities of your Beloved.”
“Love everything because when you love all things, you are loving God.”
(Note: This is the third of three articles written on Sufism.)
Sufism is a journey of Love, a love affair with the Beloved, Allah. A yearning for this Love of the Beloved
leads to Oneness or Unity with God’s Presence. The transformation along the way is far reaching and priceless.
My husband is also on the Sufi Path. I came to our marriage, second for both of us, aware of my lifelong strategy of being “nice” to feel safe. I had not yet experienced a breakthrough that would allow me to be in touch with what was true for me, much less be able to speak it. In response to my niceness and accompanying inauthenticity, my husband’s not-so-nice behaviors began to show up, leading to declining self-esteem, lack of trust, and unhappiness for us both in our marriage.
I thought about leaving the marriage, but when I went to my heart with the idea, there was no Light. It is a Sufi practice to go to one’s heart seeking Divine Guidance. For me, an experience of increased Light and a sensation of heart expansion is a yes, decreased Light and contraction is a no, both often accompanied by an insight. Guidance was clear, this was my chance to work through this old issue within the marriage.
In Sufism, the world is a mirror for me to see myself more clearly, if willing. I began to see that my inauthentic “nice” behaviors were a big part of what was going on in my marriage as well as in my other relationships. I continued the practice of Remembrance, turning to the Divine for support by reciting the Divine Name, Allah (One Mighty All-Encompassing Love), and the Divine Qualities of Mercy and Compassion into my spiritual heart and into places where I felt emotional pain. Relief and guidance consistently came time and again.
My husband and I continued our varied Sufi practices supported by therapy. We also relied upon a mutual practice we came to call “holding feet” that guides us in our relationship. When a need arises to communicate with each other regarding something significant, we sit on the opposite ends of the couch with our feet in each other’s lap while looking into each other’s eyes. We say the Fatiha, The Opener, followed by a prayer, allowing our hearts to connect and create a container of love, trust, and safety. We then express our question, concern or request followed by each of us going to our heart seeking and waiting for Divine Guidance and sharing what we receive. This process can go several rounds.
Several months of intense emotional discomfort went by. Then, unexpectedly, I found myself for the first time in my life blurting out my truth with clarity during our communications and standing firm in my Divine guidance. My delivery wasn’t perfect and continued to improve. We kept “walking” in the Sufi way, our love and trust deepening. As I changed, so did he. Our relationship blossomed and continues to do so.
Finding my voice along with self-acceptance and love also had a positive effect on the relationships with my three children. Over time, as I became less defensive and reactive, mutual trust developed. I became a better listener, letting go of my agenda and communicating with greater authenticity. I reflect to them the Divine Qualities I experience inside myself (as I am a mirror for them as they are for me). Today, I feel immense gratitude for the quality relationships I have with my children and the resource I have become for them. They have taken up some of the Sufi practices for themselves.
The impact my Sufi practices have on others, even strangers, amazes me. Several years ago we were traveling by bus in Turkey. A handsome young man sat across the aisle from us and although we did not speak Turkish and he spoke only a little English, my husband moved across the aisle and struck up a conversation with him. As it was difficult to follow their conversation, I pulled out and started to read a paperback novel I had with me, Snow by Orpha Pumak. Little did I know this was a highly controversial book in Turkey. The young man noticed what I was reading. Refusing to look at me he turned to my husband emphatically requesting that he tell me to stop reading the book because it was a bad influence. Overhearing the commotion, I paused, looked at them, and began to seethe with anger. I was already struggling with the cultural differences I was encountering on our trip.
That evening I said to my husband that I was not coming to bed until I found peace in my heart. I sat in Remembrance into the night. At some point I experienced my heart opening and filling with compassion for this young man and the ways his culture had formed him and his behaviors. Likewise, I found compassion for myself and my reactions. I sat in this space overflowing with compassion until I was overcome with a deep sense of peace. The remainder of my trip was amazing. A shopkeeper came out of his shop to give me a gift. An Imam (a leader in a Muslim community) gave me a set of prayer beads from Mecca. Women in the mosque surrounded me with smiling faces, lovingly assisting me with my scarf. Inn keepers were gracious and connecting, referring us to relatives at our next place of stay. It became a magical trip.
These types of transformative occurrences are not uncommon. I’ve had them with my sister, friends, and strangers in many situations. Transformation is not limited to human relationships. On this journey of love, I find it easy to fall into communion with the many aspects of our physical world, experiencing the Oneness of All.
La ilaha illa’llah, there is no deity except the One Mighty All-Encompassing Love.
“Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.”
― Rumi
Shadhiliyya Sufi Resources:
Institute of Spiritual Healing: https://instituteofspiritualhealing.com/what-is-sufism/
University of Sufism, https://sufiuniversity.org/
Shadhiliyya Sufi Communities, https://suficommunities.org/
PNW Sufi Newsletter: To subscribe, email Bobbie at bjharlowcombe@gmail.com
Want to contribute to the Spiritual Roundtable? Read this first.
The Roundtable Mission and Vision
The goal of these roundtable writings is to:
Bring the spiritual community together.
Share ideas that elevate the human spirit.
Elevate the conversation around the spirit.
Embrace what is universal to all, while honoring what is special about each spirituality.
Center inclusivity and equity.
Promote our collective enlightenment.
Nurture civility and friendship between those with diverse belief systems in the Gorge.
Engage readers and spiritual seekers.
The Spiritual Roundtable IS NOT…
This is not a place for arguing about dogma.
This is not a place for ‘hating on’ or putting other belief systems down.
This is not a place for excluding, discriminating, or promoting fear or violence towards other people based on their race, color, ethnicity, beliefs, faith, gender, sexuality, ability.
This is not a place for hatred.
This is not a place for fear.
The Spiritual Roundtable IS..
This IS a place for hope.
This IS a place for joy.
This IS a place for comfort.
This IS a place for big questions.
This IS a place for learning.
This IS a place for sharing.
This IS a place for caring.
This IS a place for sharing what is special about your beliefs.
CCC News reserves the right to not publish any content that breaks with our mission, vision and values.
If you are interested in being included in the roundtable please email cole@columbiacommunityconnection.com
