Ask Kathryn: How do I figure out what I want to do with my life while I'm also going through a devastating break up?

Dear Kathryn,

How do I manage life and figure out what I want to do with my life while I'm also going through a devastating break up?
-Single and struggling

Dear Single and struggling,

A relationship ending and all the changes that come with it are really hard and emotionally draining. I understand why things feel unmanageable! 

First, focus on your basic needs. 

Sleep. 
Do anything you can to get good sleep. When you can’t sleep, put on a guided meditation. Try to stay off of social media when you are up at night.

Eat. 
Stock your freezer full of frozen burritos if you need to. Feed your body. Make a ton of rice and a huge stir fry of veggies. Eat it throughout the week.

Water. 
Drink water like your life depends on it. Avoid alcohol. Avoid anything that makes you feel like crap.

Work. 
Share what you are going through with your co-workers or don’t. Whatever helps you stay focused when working, do it.

Cry. 
Let it out. Sob for as long as you need to and then wash your face and keep going. Don’t keep that sadness in your body.

Be social weekly 
Spend time with people you love and trust. Go for walks together. Call a friend to come over when you need company. Text people who will help you feel better. Let your community hold you.

Podcasts/ Music 
I have listened to a particular podcast at least 10 times. I put it on whenever I felt myself drowning. Make yourself a playlist of music that comforts you. When you hear a love song, it's a self love song. Focus on loving yourself as much as you can.

Movement
However you like to work out, do it. Exercise does wonders for mental health.

Focus just on survival until you can process more. Once you have your feet on the ground start to visualize what you want your new life to look like. Make goals for yourself. When you feel overwhelmed, move your body. It is super stressful to alter from a path that you were set on but it is totally possible to create a new and beautiful life path. 

Write down your goals and spend time with people who motivate you and inspire you to believe in yourself. Ask for help if you need it. 

Don’t talk to your ex. I don’t think talking to the person you are trying to move on from is helpful.  If they are contacting you and you feel worse, block them. 

Do what makes you happy. What makes you happy? Dancing? DANCE. Painting? PAINT. Cooking? COOK. Do something that makes you happy even if you don’t want to. Start a project and work on it weekly.

Remember, baby steps. Don’t give up on yourself. I promise that the work you are doing now will change your life. 

You got YOU and the universe has your back. 

-Kathryn