How'd they do that? It seems pear-a-not-normal
Will at Hood River Distillers tasting room in Hood River shows off a lovely pear all wrapped up in its own spirits.
By Tom Peterson
Hood River, Ore., Aug. 28, 2023 - If you found a bottle laying aside an ocean with a note in it - that would be a message in a bottle.
But what if you found a skinny-necked bottle containing a full Bartlett pear enveloped in delicious pear brandy?
Well, that, of course, would be a statement.
It’s one that Clear Creek Distillery of Hood River makes some 800 times a year - bottle by bottle, thanks to the hand-crafted care of local distillers and fruit growers here.
But how do they get that pear in the bottle?
Head Distiller Caitlin Bartlemay shows off pears in a bottle at an orchard near Hood River.
“Time and care,” said Head Distiller Caitlin Bartlemay.
Pear growers for Clear Creek begin eyeing their trees after the bud burst in spring, with a keen eye out for the “king pear” - the bud that will produce a pear when the tree drops the majority of its flowers in a self-thinning process.
Once the king, by judgment, is coronated, a thin-necked Clear Creek Distillery bottle is carefully tied up in the pear tree with twine, and the branch with the king pear is carefully placed inside the bottle.
It’s still small, so, yeah, it’s still possible.
Bartlemay, 35, who has a degree in Food Science from Oregon State University, said that is just the start of the mollycoddling.
Pear growers have to check on the bottles to ensure the sunlight is not hitting the bottle in a way that would magnify the light and burn a hole through the Bartlett.
And if it is, the bottle gets a blanket - a paper bag to block out the malicious rays. The pear then grows inside its clear castle until it is harvested.
Most of the time it works; sometimes it doesn’t.
Pears are, of course, unique - some get so fat they block the lower portion of the bottle. Others can grow hideous in their appearance, looking like warlocks with lower lips growing over their foreheads.
But the ones who can hold it together in their glass slippers continue to enjoy pampering. They are taken for a spa treatment at the cleaning room at Clear Creek in the Port of Hood River where the exterior and the interior, including the pear are washed and rinsed - twice.
The pears are then treated to the indulgence of being submerged in themselves - 40-proof pear brandy - and they undertake yet another metamorphosis.
The gorgeous green of the pear provided by its lovely yet unstable chlorophyll quickly changes to a lighter shade. And they bob in their greatness - during the course of the next six to nine months the pear will rise and fall in the bottle as a metabolic process creates air within the fruit and then releases it with its maturity.
And for absolute perfection, Bartlemay said the bottles are opened at a year and the last of any pear pieces are cast off like copper jewelry. The bottles are then topped with more pear brandy to an exact 750 milliliters.
The finished bottles are stunning.
“It’s proof there is a god,” Bartlemay said, noting “The bottle and brandy make the pear look even bigger.”
The Brandy is a great conversation piece for those choosing to have a nightcap or an afternoon furlough.
“It’s totally cool,” Bartlemay said, noting you can easily extend the life of the $80 pear-in-bottle brandy. “You can always keep it in the back of your bar and refill it with more of the same.”
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