Advice Column: Ask Kathryn

Editor’s note - This week we are introducing a brand new advice column - Ask Kathryn to our readers. We are asking you to send in your most challenging questions and our columnist will do their best to answer them as frankly and honestly as possible. All names will be kept anonymous to better get at the truth of the matters. In the same vein, please realize this is an advice column and may not suit all situations or value systems. But maybe, there is a nugget or two here and there that can help you through a situation.

Suggestions for life’s W.T.F questions

Dear Kathryn,

How do I explain smoking weed to my kids (ages 10 and 14) without turning my vices into advertisements for how great it is!? “This is natural and not harmful, helps me relax, and is just a plant. It was a stressful day, stressful job, and this helps me deal.”  I use enough to be functional on a day-to-day basis but definitely use too much to hide it. 

I am not sure if my kids even care about my particular usage. We have many friends that we smoke and drink with but this is a HARD topic to explain.  How can they hear me explain and trust me BUT not do what I do? I’ve had friends ask me how I explain my usage to my kids and the truth is… I’m terrible at it! HELP!

                       - 420Mama

Dear 420Mama,

The more information we can give our kids the better.  Yes… it’s vulnerable, it’s uncomfortable, and it is easy to feel like you don’t know W.T.F. to say!  

 The truth is… your kids can learn the pros/cons of weed in your safe home OR at an unsupervised party OR while hiding out in your neighbor’s garage. It's out there and under circumstances that are much trickier. A teenager in this situation may look at it  two ways. My Mom does it and therefore I don’t want to or my Mom does it and why can’t I?  If they are tempted to try…  they know that you have that stash in your home.       

 Your kids are old enough for an honest conversation and they need to know that you trust them with the information. Trust is valuable.  Weed helps you with anxiety, stress, and helps you feel good BUT you also don’t really want them to do it. They are young, their brains are developing, and they are still your babies, right? Being open with them may be what actually truly protects them.

“Smoking weed helps me with stress, and it is like medicine for me. You may see others experimenting in ways that may not feel safe. I want you to know that you can ask me questions.  Smoking weed can make some feel paranoid and can alter decision-making. Getting into a car with a friend that has smoked weed is dangerous. I know that this is awkward but I love you and want you to know I am here if you need help.”    The truth is, your kids need to learn about this stuff whether you use it personally or not.  

Mama, this is a discussion that you NEED to have.  You have the ability to share your experiences while also educating them about other situations that they may encounter. If you want to protect them, educate them.  If you don’t want them to medicate like you, educate them.  Remember that you lead by example. 

You can do hard things! The awkward conversations are typically the most important to have and I know that you can do this. 

-Kathryn