Treasure Hunt: Drake pops some tags for some entertainment

By Jim Drake 

In this Episode: Our columnist Jim Drake goes shopping. Not for essentials like food and toilet paper, but for items that only a collector of All Things Media can appreciate. For the next few weeks, he’ll be reviewing his books, movies, CDs, even some games that have been rescued from the shelves of obscurity. Come along, if you dare, and let’s find out exactly how far $10.30 goes in today’s high-tech thrift world. All items were purchased in second-hand shops in The Dalles. Senior Discounts and Color Tag Sales were applied.

This week- the highly coveted 1985 Laser VideoDisc. Oh, Mama!

The shortly loved laser videodisc was a thing of beauty when released in 1985. It was huge and shiny, sizing in at a 12” record. It was a CD on steroids. Like Hanz und Franz, it would pump you up. You had to have a phat bank account in those days to run with these disc jockeys. The player cost $1,500- adjusted for inflation that’s $2,300. And a single videodisc was $35 or $54 in today’s prices. Hey man, that’s five months of Spotify. Luckily, our Jim Drake crushed that price, coming in at just $2.69. That left a little cash for some frozen yogurt and bleach to acid wash some jeans.

Star Trek Original Television Series Episodes 2 and 7

Format: Laser VideoDisc

Price: $2.69

Cover of Drake’s find.

Billed as “The Original and Uncut Television Series,” this Paramount Home Video product was released in 1985 on the Laser VideoDisc format. For those of you unfamiliar, laserdiscs are usually 12” diameter round things that look like big chrome-plated records. I say “usually” because smaller laserdiscs actually exist, and those look like big chrome-plated 45 rpm records. 

 Of course, you need a special laserdisc player to play it, and if you get a deluxe model, the machine will automatically play both sides of the disc, instead of having to turn the disc over, like a record.

Before I talk about the Star Trek episodes, you may be wondering what was it that prompted me to actually buy a Laserdisc player in the first place, considering this technology is outdated and inferior to today’s DVD and now Blu-Ray and now 4K Ultra Digital Download Stream options.

 The answer is: “Star Wars.”

Drake covets the historically correct first cut of Star Wars that can be found on this video laserdisc. In the meantime, how about episode 2 and 7 of Star Trek?

You see, according to “the internet,” there is actually a Laserdisc release of the original Star Wars movie that remains closest to, or is identical to the original theatrical release. This is important to some fans because it seems that all of the home videotape releases and subsequent DVD releases with the “extra scenes” and “Special Editions” and “CGI enhancements” and “Different formats of the opening scrolling text explaining the movie at the beginning” have made the home video versions of Star Wars “unwatchable.” 

 So now, it is my turn to search the Galaxy for this original, or “true” version, and I better make sure that I have the player to play it when I find it.

In the meantime, Star Trek was a good second bet. The Star Trek disc caught my eye for two reasons:

One - I recently finished reading, and here’s the key to this thought - Sequentially - all of the books, in order, from Book 1 to Book 12. The Star Trek episodes were adapted from the original TV scripts by a guy named James Blish. 

 Two - The Laserdisc Cover Art was just too cool to pass up. The packaging alone gives you the iconic 1966 color TV vibes that says: If you have a Laserdisc Player, You Need This.

Star Trek Books 1 - 12.

 I certainly remember watching Star Trek growing up. Although I never developed enough of a devotion to become a “Trekkie,” I did admire the series for the possibility of space travel and adventure. A re-exposure to Star Trek years later in the college apartment situation prompted a funny story. Every time the late-night re-run came on, you know, with a picture of the planet - my roommate would look at me and say “Oh, yeah, this episode” - as he had them completely memorized by that image.

 And speaking of Episodes, this disc contains, quite perplexingly, I might add, Episode 2 “Where No Man Has Gone Before” first airing Sept. 22, 1966; and Episode 7 “The Naked Time,” first airing Sept. 29, 1966. The information further says that Episode 2 represents ‘Stardate 1312.4” and Episode 7 represents “Stardate 1704.2.”

 Now, I’m not an expert on the Stardate Calendar, but to me, this numbering system makes No Sense. How can a difference of four Episodes result in a difference of over 391 Star Date Units? I mean, they did do some time travel in Episode 7, but would that account for it? 

Videodisc back cover.

 Upon further investigation, Episode 2 appeared in Book 1 and Episode 7 doesn’t make an appearance until Book 8. And, get this - in the book, Episode 7 starts out with this Fact: 

Star Date 1312.5.

Did I just find a typo?

And why would anyone release a disc containing Episode 2 and Episode 7? The episodes had no connection to each other, it wasn’t like it was a Part 1 and Part 2. It just begs the question - was this Laserdisc series just an exercise in throwing Random Episodes on a Disc and Hope that No One Notices?

So, what was the experience like, watching these episodes on Laserdisc? Well, first of all, it was a Miracle that the Disc played. Laserdisc has a tendency to physically decay over time, but I got lucky with a clean disc. In fact, the sound was so loud, I had to turn it down, twice. The picture was fine, no skips. The only minor annoyance was a background 60-cycle hum noise, like some kind of electrical part isn’t fully grounded. But it wasn’t enough to prevent me from enjoying it.

It may have, quite possibly though, been some of the cause of me falling asleep during Episode 2. 

This episode put the Enterprise at the edge of the galaxy, where the crew tries to deal with an apparent entity that destroyed a survey ship 200 years ago. Two crew members become “infected” with a heightened ESP ability, which becomes dangerous to the rest of the crew.

 What brings back the most striking memory for me is the opening narration and ending credits - the colors of the text and soundtrack are exactly as you remember - some of those images of aliens that scroll by at the end must be part of my DNA by now.

Watching TV episodes some 40 years later is quite eye-opening. Kirk is a very young Kirk. Spock was completely overacting. There was even a huge difference in cast members between the two episodes. Did you know there was a different doctor other than McCoy in episode 2?

 It’s very humbling to see the original set for the TV show. Now, of course, we’re used to the modern films of “Star Trek Beyond” and “Into Darkness.” But you have to give credit for the old show to inspire today’s techno-wizardry.

It was pretty funny in some of the scenes. I mean, at one point, they showed a hallway with a door, and there was some sort of signage on it that said Office or Utility Room or something like that. And to me, the Sign Looked As Though It Could Have Been Purchased at Staples. Definitely not something that belonged on a Starship, anyway.

How serendipitous and timely that “The Naked Time,” episode involved the crew bringing back a disease that was transmitted by human touch. I watched in horror as the inept crewman actually took off his gloves to his bio-hazard suit and touched a bunch of contaminated equipment, and then took off his helmet and wiped his face. HE DID NOT EVEN BOTHER TO WASH HIS HANDS. Now, Kirk has to deal with an infected crew and a starship careening in a perilous descent into a collapsing planet.

 It’s sad to think, with a few substitutions, we could make that same episode today.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve contemplated buying all three seasons worth of the original Star Trek series on DVD. There are 79 episodes, which would apparently fit on 40 Laserdiscs. 

But, similar to the Star Wars releases, some of these DVD releases have been edited and changed and enhanced with Special Effects. Some Amazon reviewers have even complained that the dialog in some episodes doesn’t make sense due to bad editing.

 In any case, I think it will be interesting to compare these episodes to the books in more detail. 

 It’s just going to take careful research to make sure I buy the right DVD packages. 

 It’s either that, or it’s back to the thrift stores trying to find 39 more Laserdiscs.

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