New Gorge Advice Column: What Would Robin Do?
by Robin Allen
Stylist Robin Allen answers your questions
Welcome to my advice column! I am a Professional Wardrobe Stylist, Personal Shopper, Influencer and On-air Personality. So, I know a thing or two about a thing or two and I absolutely LOVE to help people find ways to make their lives easier. Whether it’s with personal style+ fashion, branding, relationships, workplace conundrums or just how to feel more confident in life..I am here! All questions from all FOLX are welcome! Seriously, no question is too ridiculous and it’s always anonymous. So, go ahead, ask. Believe me, I was born ready to answer! Submit your questions to robinallenstyle@gmail.com!
Q: I’m a trans salesperson. What is the most professional way to handle being misgendered on sales calls?
A: There a few ways I would address this. One way is by starting out introducing yourself by your name and your preferred pronouns. For example, “Hi! I’m Robin. My preferred pronouns are she/hers it’s so nice to meet you.” or introduce yourself, if pronouns allow, as Mr., Mrs., Ms. or Miss. For example, “Hi. I’m Mrs. Robin Allen” This one is a bit more old school but still professional! These are both easy ways to clarify how you identify without having to correct someone. And, an even more preventative action, would be to add your preferred pronouns to your email signature and to your bio in any and all social media especially for you professionals, LinkedIn. Basically, anywhere your potential advertiser might be doing some snooping…I mean, researching before your meeting.
Also, some other little techniques is to add a text signature. A text signature will come across to the receiver of your sent text and is another way to politely reiterate how you identify.
Now, let’s say you are already into the call and they misgender you.
For example, if they say something like “Us ladies sure have a harder time in the advertising industry don’t we?” You can correct them by saying “Yes, it definitely must be hard for you as a woman in this industry. And as a man, I try to uplift women in our business whenever I can.” Something like that. Basically, correct them by correcting the narrative of the conversation to be accurate to how you identify. That way you have called out their mistake in a professional way, and it allows the conversation to keep flowing so in turn, you don’t lose a potential sale!
Q: What tips do you have for community building in a smaller town?
A: As, someone who moved from Los Angeles to Hood River, I would have loved an answer to this question! So I’m excited to answer this one especially now that we are slowly but surely all headed back into the world in a more social way. And, actually are craving it. Here are my top suggestions in no particular order:
LOCAL MESSAGE BOARDS/CORK BOARDS or even straight-up posters in the windows at your local shops. Especially, coffee shops. Big or small, there is usually always something going on! Take a pic of the events that call out to you and GO TO THEM! It’s the perfect way to meet people who you already know have at least one interest in common! And don’t forget to branch out and go to other shops you might not frequent as much and check out what they’ve got going as well. You never know where you’ll find “your community” so be open, and if you don’t see an actual board, don’t be afraid to ask if they have any happenings in shop themselves or know of any in the neighborhood. Who knows, maybe it’s the actual person working there that you are meant to connect with. You never know. That’s actually happened to me several times!
CONNECT ONLINE. Seek out Social Media (Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Clubhouse, etc.) groups or pages specific to your area and surrounding cities that are aligned with your likes, talents, hobbies, how you identify and/or what you believe in, support or fight for. It’s a great way to connect especially if you are introverted or shy around people or just don’t quite feel safe going out in public socially yet. Meeting people through specific groups in which you already have the topic in common is a great start.
And, if there’s anything that comes across your feed like zoom conferences, online or in-person workshops or events that seem interesting, make a point to go to them! And, when you do, PARTICIPATE! Get into the conversation and get to know people. The more engaging you are, the more people will engage with you! And vice versa. And, then you’re on your way to building that community!VOLUNTEERING. Last but not least. It is a great way to meet a lot of different kinds of people that are aligned with what you also believe in AND you are also giving back to the actual community you live in! So, win-win…win!
A lot of small communities have a current events website and local publications will usually dedicate a section to an events calendar like CCC News does and/or a “volunteers wanted” section. Now, if you can just subscribe to these local publications, all the better that way they will email you with up-to-date info. so you can really be in the know. And, if you don’t know where to find these sources just Google it or do a shout-out on Facebook.
Seeking out your local food bank and other non-profit organizations in town is yet another great way to meet all kinds of different people. So, not only are you doing good for the community you can also be finding “YOUR community” at the same time!
Q: Should I keep my free people bomber style jacket from four years ago or donate it?
A: To keep or not to keep that is the question, isn’t it? I always say ask yourself in the words of Marie Kondo “Does it bring you joy?” Also, is it currently YOU? Is it truly still your style? Is it still in good shape? And, drumroll please…DOES IT FIT you properly? Now, if the majority of the answers are “Yes!” then keep it. BUT, I challenge you to wear it in the next two weeks and if you do, and you realize the magic is gone OR you don’t wear it all, I say let it go. But, if you wear it and you’re in love and you get a thousand and one compliments then keep it in rotation and rock it all season long!
Now, if you’re answers were mostly “No.” then whether it’s a cool jacket still or not, you need to LET IT GO! Let someone else enjoy it! Do you have a niece, a friend or know a local shelter that could use donations? Then, let it go to them and keep only the fond memories. And keep on keepin’ on.
Q. How can I use lipstick easily for online meetings? I never used it as a teen and I don’t really understand how to even pick it out but I don’t look like I want to look on the zoom meetings.
A: Oh, ok! This is a good one. First of all, it may not be the lipstick that you need especially if you don’t usually wear it! But I understand what you mean by not looking how you wanna look on camera. As an On-air Personality who does LIVE TV segments on the regular, the one thing I can tell you is how you come across normally in person will get absorbed by the screen. A bolder lip is always best. But, if that’s not your style then go for a tinted lip balm in a deeper shade instead. Remember, what seems dramatic to your everyday look most times will not come off that way at all in video. I recommend turning your camera on and doing a “test” video of yourself to see how you look and feel in different shades, make note of what you like and don’t like, and go from there.
As for help applying lipstick, I have a video on my YouTube channel for free that you can check out called “How to Apply a Bold Lip Color” or just search YouTube in general. There are tons of makeup tutorials out there and you just got to find the one that calls to you!
BONUS: Here are some other ways you can also boost your look and confidence on video easily. This goes for all folx!
Moisturize your skin before you go on camera with a face lotion and/ or sunscreen (one that does not leave a zinc white residue on your face). This will freshen up your face and add a natural radiance to your skin. Now, if you use make-up, a highlighter or a bronzer always adds that gorgeous glow too! And, even the old-school trick of pinching your cheeks to get some color into them is a quick and easy thing to do before turning that camera on too!
* Wear bold, fun accessories. For instance, glasses/bluelight glasses with cool frames, interesting earrings, a pretty scarf or a bold necklace.
* Wear bold, vibrant, deep colorful tops.
* Relax into your face, be aware of your posture and know when you’re on camera smiling is always the best accessory! Actually, that goes for in real life too! :)
